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Insurance Policy
Larry’s barn burned down, and his wife, Susan, called the insurance company.
Susan spoke to the insurance agent and said, “We had that barn insured for fifty thousand dollars, and I want my money.”
The agent replied, “Whoa there, just a minute. Insurance doesn’t work quite like that. An independent adjuster will assess the value of what was insured, and then we’ll provide you with a new barn of similar worth.”
There was a long pause, and then Susan replied, “If that’s how it works, then I want to cancel the life insurance policy on my husband.”
A tree…
A tree house is the biggest insult to a tree. “Here, I killed your friend. Hold him.”
Earth Science
The science teacher was teaching a class on earth science and lecturing on map reading.
After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees, and minutes the teacher asked, “Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude and 45 degrees, 15 minutes east longitude, where would we meet?”
After a confused silence, a voice volunteered, “I don’t know the place, but I guess you’d be eating alone.”
The last…
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.
The Sin
Two elderly, excited Southern women were sitting together in the front pew of a church listening to a fiery preacher.
When this preacher condemned the sin of stealing, these two ladies cried out at the tops of their lungs, “AMEN, BROTHER!”
When the preacher condemned the sin of lust, they yelled again, “PREACH IT, REVEREND!”
And when the preacher condemned the sin of lying, they jumped to their feet and screamed, “RIGHT ON, BROTHER! TELL IT LIKE IT IS… AMEN!”
But when the preacher condemned the sin of gossip, the two got very quiet.
One turned to the other and said, “He’s quit preaching and now he’s meddlin’.”
Garage Sale
I took four tires to a friend’s garage sale and was asking $35 apiece. I needed to step away for a bit so I asked him to watch them for me.
“Sure,” he said, “but just in case someone offers less, how low are you willing to go?”
“Try for more, but I will accept $20 each,” I said, and left.
When I returned, my tires were gone. “How much did you get for them?” I asked excitedly.
“Twenty dollars each.”
“Who bought them?”
“I did!”