Home
I got called…
I got called pretty yesterday and it felt good! Actually, the full sentence was “You’re pretty annoying.” but I’m choosing to focus on the positive.
Financial Adviser
A wealthy ninety year old tycoon is meeting with his new financial adviser.
The adviser is very excited and tells the old man, “I just found out about an investment I can make for you which will double your money in just five years!”
“Five years? Are you kidding?” exclaims the old man. “At my age, I don’t even buy green bananas!”
I’ll never forget …
I’ll never forget my son’s first words… “Where the heck have you been for 16 years?”
Late Night Call
It was two o’clock in the morning and a husband and wife were asleep, when suddenly the phone rang.
The husband picked up the phone and said, “Hello? (Pause as he listens.) How the heck do I know? What am I, the weather man?” and promptly slammed the phone down.
His wife rolls over and asks, “Who was that?”
The husband replies, “I don’t know. Some guy who wanted to know if the coast was clear.”
Up until…
Up until I bought this bag of chips I thought the air was free.
Pleading Student
A student comes to a young professor`s office after hours. She glances down the hall, closes his door, kneels pleadingly.
“I would do anything to pass this exam.” she says. Then she leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes.
“I mean…” she whispers, “I would do absolutely anything!”
He returns her gaze. “Anything?”
“Yes, anything!”
His voice turns to a whisper, “Would you…study?”