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If you can……..
If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
Telephone Poles
Two telephone company crews were putting up telephone poles. At the end of the day, the company foreman asked the first crew how many poles they had put in the ground. “Fifteen” was the answer.
“Not bad, not bad at all,” the foreman said.
Turning to the blonde crew he asked how many they had put in. “Four” was the answer.
“Four?” the foreman yelled. “The others did fifteen, and you only did four?”
“Yes,” replied the leader of the blonde group, “But go look at how much they left sticking out of the ground.”
Happiest Day
Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, “Why is the bride dressed in white?”
“Because white is the color of happiness,” her mother explained. “And today is the happiest day in her life.”
The child thought about this for a moment. “So why is the groom wearing black?”
Did you hear………
Did you hear about the shepherd who drove his sheep through town? He was given a ticket for making a ewe turn.
I can totally…..
I can totally keep secrets. It’s the people I tell them to that can’t.
Winning the Lottery
A married couple was having a conversation. The husband asked his wife: “If i ever win the lottery what would you do?” The wife’s respond was: “I would take half and leave you!” The husband said: “Well, your in luck – I won the lottery! So, here’s $6 and get outta here!”