Operating System Airlines

If operating systems were airlines, what kind of service would they offer?
Here is a lighthearted look at what passengers could expect.

DOS Air:
All the passengers go out onto the runway, grab hold of the plane, push it
until it gets in the air, hop on, jump off when it hits the ground again,
push it back into the air, hop on, and so on.

Mac Airways:
The cashiers, flight attendants and pilots all look the same, feel the
same and act the same. When asked questions about the flight, they reply
that you don’t want to know, don’t need to know and would you please
return to your seat and watch the movie.

Windows Airlines:
The terminal is very neat and clean, the attendants are all very
attractive, the pilots very capable. The fleet of Lear jets the carrier
operates is immense. Your jet takes off without a hitch, pushing up above
the clouds and, at 20,000 feet, it explodes without warning.

OS/2 Skyways:
The terminal is almost empty with only a few prospective passengers
milling about. The announcer says that their flight has just departed and
wishes them a good flight, although there are no planes on the runway.
Airline personnel walk around, apologizing profusely to customers in
hushed voices, pointing from time to time to the sleek powerful jets
outside the terminal on the field. They tell each passenger how good the
real flight will be on these new jets and how much safer it will be than
Windows Airlines but that they will have to wait a little longer for the
technicians to finish flight systems.

Fly Windows NT:
All the passengers carry their seats out onto the tarmac, placing the
chairs in the outline of a plane. They all sit down, flap their arms and
make jet swooshing sounds as if they are flying.