This German guy wanted to marry this Polish lady, but Poland had a law that you have to be Polish in order to marry someone that is Polish, so, in other words, he'd have to have 50% of his brain removed. So he goes to his...
Q:How do you make a Swiss roll? A:you push them down the Alps.
Q: Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? A: Because he didn't have any guts!!!
Three men are about to go into heaven, a robber, a pickpocket, and a gay man. God says to them, "To enter heaven you must overcome your greatest temptations..." God turned to the robber and said, "go back down to earth and don't steal anything for...
A man goes to visit the grave of his mother, puts a beautiful bouquet at the headstone and gets up, to leave when he notices another man crying his heart.
After hearing a couple's complaints that their intimate life wasn't what it used to be, the sex counselor suggested they vary their position. "For example," he suggested, "you might try.
THREE WOMEN -- ONE GERMAN, ONE JAPANESE AND A HILLBILLY WERE SITTING NAKED IN A SAUNA. SUDDENLY THERE WAS A BEEPING SOUND. THE GERMAN PRESSED HER FOREARM AND THE BEEP STOPPED. THE OTHERS LOOKED AT HER QUESTIONINGLY. "THAT WAS MY PAGER," SHE SAID. "I HAVE A...
I've learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones who do.
Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been in your refrigerator? A: By the lipstick on your cucumbers.
Q: How many square dancers does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: Four, and you have to walk them through it a few times.