Guts vs. Balls

To those of you who are nit-pickers about the meaning of words: there is a big distinction between Guts and Balls. We’ve all heard about people having Guts or Balls to do something, but do you really know the difference between them?
In an effort to keep you informed, here are the definitions:
GUTS – Arriving home late, after a night out with the boys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: “Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?”
BALLS – Coming home late after a night out with the boys, smelling of perfume and beer, with lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the bottom and having the balls to say: “You’re next, chubby.”
I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions. Medically speaking, there is no difference in the outcome. Both will result in sure death.