~ You get an angry phone call at 2 AM. describing your barking dog as "a real turn-off." ~ Every bush in her yard is trimmed in the shape of bunny ears. ~ Your wife forbids you to do yard work. ~ Cops break up...
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Got this off the list a couple of years ago. I don't know who to give credit to as I deleted the author's name. Michael Jordan will make over $300,000.
If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
What to do if you fall into a conversation with someone about the terrorist attacks who doesn't believe in retaliation: 1. Engage in conversation, and ask if military force is appropriate. 2. When he says "No," ask, "Why not?" 3. Wait until he says something...
Q: How many internet mail list subscribers does it take to change a light bulb? A: 1,331: 1 to change the light bulb and to post to the mail list.
Yo mama so fat she fell down Niagra falls, and stopped it up.
A truck driver goes into a brothel and says to the madam, "Here's $500, give me a bolongna sandwich and the ugliest girl you have." The madam says, "But sir, for $500 you can have the finest meal and the most beautiful girl here." The...
Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith, the Sunday School teacher, smiling sweetly said, "Bobby, when I was a child I was told.
Knock knock whoes there? Fuck. Fuck who? Fuck you!
A little boy was in a relative's wedding. As he was coming down the aisle he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the crowd (alternating between bride's side and groom's side). While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws...