A man sitting in a bar was complaining to his friend that he was still single. His friend asked him how this could happen. He answered, "Well, I'm looking for the perfect woman, I'm not going to settle for the first one that comes along."...
Uncategorized
George Carlin's Reflections on Life: 1. Never raise your hands to you kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. 2. I'm not into working out. My philosophy is no pain, no.
I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either. I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as.
1. That dress would look great on the floor next to my bed. 2. Do you want to see something swell? 3. Hey babe...do you realize that my mouth can generate over 750 psi? 4. Drop 'em! 5. What do you like for breakfast? 6....
... Ambulance is a mule driven buckboard with a spinning lantern.... Nurses wear flour sack uniforms and look like burned out cloggers.... Dogs hang around O.R. for scraps.... Maternity Room.
A boy was assigned a paper on childbirth and asked his parents, "How was I born?" "Well honey.." said the slightly prudish parent "the stork brought you to us." "Oh,".
What does a smart guy do in an M&M factory? Proofread.
Why did President Clinton name his dog Buddy? He didn't want to walk around the White House saying "Cum... Spot ", Cum....Spot!!!!
Q: How many Bill Clintons does it take to change a lightbulb?A: He doesn't! He whines a while, says "I feel your pain", and gets congress to pass a billion.
A man and his wife check into a hotel. The husband wants to have a drink at the bar, but his wife is extremely tired so she decides to go on up to their room to rest. She lies down on the bed... just then,...