George Carlin's Reflections on Life: 1. Never raise your hands to you kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. 2. I'm not into working out. My philosophy is no pain, no pain. 3. I'm in shape. Round is a shape. 4. I'm desperately trying to figure...
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I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either. I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as.
1. That dress would look great on the floor next to my bed. 2. Do you want to see something swell? 3. Hey babe...do you realize that my mouth can.
... Ambulance is a mule driven buckboard with a spinning lantern.... Nurses wear flour sack uniforms and look like burned out cloggers.... Dogs hang around O.R. for scraps.... Maternity Room is a do-it-yourself with fresh straw, a jack knife and a string.... Anesthesiologist in bib...
A boy was assigned a paper on childbirth and asked his parents, "How was I born?" "Well honey.." said the slightly prudish parent "the stork brought you to us." "Oh,".
What does a smart guy do in an M&M factory? Proofread.
Why did President Clinton name his dog Buddy? He didn't want to walk around the White House saying "Cum... Spot ", Cum....Spot!!!!
A man and his wife were driving through Arkansas on his way from New York to California. Looking at his fuel gauge, he decides to stop at the next gasoline.
Daffynition: Hummingbird- A bird who forgot the lines to a song!
Men are like ....... Laxatives ...... They irritate the shit out of you. Men are like ........ Bananas ...... The older they get, the less firm they are. Men are like ........ Vacations ..... They never seem to be long enough. Men are like ...........