The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all of the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists; two men and a woman. For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door...
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I may be fat but you're ugly, and I can lose weight.
Knock KnockWho's there?Norma!Norma who?Norma'lly I have my key!
Q: Why is duct tape like "The Force"? A: Because it has a Light side and a Dark side and it holds the Universe together.
I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me. -- Dick.
A doctor, a lawyer, and an architect were arguing about who had the smartest dog. They decided to settle the issue by getting all the dogs together and seeing whose.
How do you tell if barbie is on her period? All your Tic tacs are missing.
Your momma is so poor . . . When I walked in, there were roaches all over the TV. I asked her what she was doing, and she said, "Watching.
What the world is like in TV land: 1. If a woman is running away from someone she will trip and fall. 2. Your car will always start immediately unless.
Why does the law prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients? To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service. Submitted by Curtis Edited by Glaci