Two college buddies wanted to go drinking one Saturday night. Having only 50 cents between them they devised a plan to get free drinks all night. They went to a vendor at the corner and ordered a plain hot dog no bun. One of the...
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Golfer: "I've played so poorly all day; I think I'm going to go drown myself in that lake." Caddy: "I don't think you could keep your head down that long.".
A woman went to see a sex therapist with a peculiar problem. "My husband," she said, "always falls asleep with his erect penis inside of me." "Is that a problem?".
You find yourself listening to talk radio. You daughter says she got pierced and you look at her ears. You fondly remember your powder blue leisure suit. Your wife buys a flannel nightie and you find that sexy. You criticize the kids of today for...
A woman that was on her death-bed turned to her husband telling him he should get married soon after she'll die, to which the man said-OK. Then she told him.
Defense Attorney: "Would you please state your age to the court for the record."Little Old Lady: "I am 86 years old."Defense Attorney: "Will you tell us in your own words,.
Yo mamma is so fat she gets her toenails painted at Earl Shibe.
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three - one to screw in the bulb, and two to listen to him brag about the screwing.
If the opposite of "pro" is "con", then the opposite of "progress" is "congress".
Little brother: Look, Sis, I've got a pack of cards. Big sister: Big deal!