I hate it when I think I’m buying organic vegetables but when I get home, I discover they’re just regular donuts.
Sarcastic One-Liners
Only dead fish go with the flow.
My boss keeps worrying about the zombie apocalypse coming. He forgets that zombies eat brains. He will be just fine.
I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears people just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that.