What's worse than raining cats and dogs? Hailing Taxi.
Sarcastic One-Liners
Sometimes, when I am matching socks, I think, "What if these two socks don't even like each other?"
With how things have been going, I do have hope for the future, but I also built a bomb shelter just in case.
The difference between "Girlfriend" and "Girl Friend" is that little space in between we call the "Friend Zone".
I think we should get rid of democracy. All in favor raise your hand.
A dog has an owner, but a cat has a staff.
It's hard for me to share inspirational comments. My blood type is B Negative.
My parents won't say which of their six kids they love the best, but they have told me I finished just out of the top five.
Yep... I got outvoted 1-1 by my wife again.
People who write "u" instead of "you". What do you do with all the time you save?