"What doesn't kill you gives you a set of unhealthy coping mechanisms and a dark sense of humor."
Sarcastic One-Liners
THANKS TO YOU I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.
''Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.”
Their first daughter was born with a silver spoon in her mouth. Now they’re hoping for triplets so they can have a whole set.
I’m not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I’m going to Hell?
Shut up, will you?” “Oh, I’m sorry, Your Highness, should I go get you your coffee and tea now?
Even people who are good for nothing can bring smile on your face, when pushed down the stairs...
We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
A conclusion is the part where you got tired of thinking.
People say that laughter is the best medicine...my face must be curing the world!