When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90 % of their body... men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.
Sarcastic One-Liners
Top 3 situations that require witnesses: 1) Crimes 2) Accidents 3) Marriages Need I say more?
My friend claims that he "accidentally" glued himself to his autobiography, but I don't believe him. But that's his story, and he's sticking to it.
What's worse than raining cats and dogs? Hailing Taxi.
Sometimes, when I am matching socks, I think, "What if these two socks don't even like each other?"
With how things have been going, I do have hope for the future, but I also built a bomb shelter just in case.
The difference between "Girlfriend" and "Girl Friend" is that little space in between we call the "Friend Zone".
I think we should get rid of democracy. All in favor raise your hand.
A dog has an owner, but a cat has a staff.
It's hard for me to share inspirational comments. My blood type is B Negative.