"Instead of 'have a nice day,' I think I'll start saying, 'have the day you deserve.' You know, let karma sort things out."
Sarcastic One-Liners
“Sarcasm helps me overcome the harshness of the reality we live, eases the pain of scars and makes people smile.”
Some people dress to impress, some people undress to impress.
“Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.”
I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
I had a job selling security alarms door to door and I was really good at it. If no one was home I would just leave a brochure on the.
My mother-in-law is so fat, she could sell shade.
I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year. Now, it's Election night.
When I get a dog I'm going to name him five miles so I can say I walk five miles every day.
Education is important but other stuff is more importanter.