“Sometimes I feel so sick at the state of the world I can’t even finish my second apple pie.”
Sarcastic One-Liners
“Have no fear of perfection—you’ll never reach it.”
“Sarcasm is the last refuge of the imaginatively bankrupt.”
"Sometimes I wish I were a nicer person, but then I laugh and continue my day."
“It’s wildly irritating to have invented something as revolutionary as sarcasm, only to have it abused by amateurs.”
I'm killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness.”
"I was asked what I look for in a relationship. Apparently 'a way out' wasn't the right answer."
I saw weird stuff in that place last night. Weird, strange, sick, twisted, gross, godless, evil stuff... and I want it (:
My ability to turn good news into anxiety is rivaled only by my ability to turn anxiety into chin acne.”
I never admit or deny anything it makes things more interesting.