“Everyone has the right to be stupid, but you’re abusing the privilege.”
Sarcastic One-Liners
“I’m sorry while you were talking I was trying to figure out where the hell you got the idea I cared.”
“If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.”
“If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.”
I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
"The stuff you heard about me is a lie. I'm way worse."
Even people who are good for nothing can bring smile on your face, when pushed down the stairs...
Our child has a great deal of willpower—and even more won’t power.
I can totally keep secrets. It’s the people I tell them to that can’t.
Remember, everyone seems normal until you get to know them...