I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
Sarcastic One-Liners
I had a job selling security alarms door to door and I was really good at it. If no one was home I would just leave a brochure on the.
My mother-in-law is so fat, she could sell shade.
I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year. Now, it's Election night.
When I get a dog I'm going to name him five miles so I can say I walk five miles every day.
Education is important but other stuff is more importanter.
Saying "super size it" at the drive-thru doesn't work when it's a pharmacy.
Definition of Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
I changed my password to "incorrect", so anytime I forget and enter the wrong thing, the computer tells me what it is.
My wife told me that I twist everything she says to my advantage. I take that as a compliment.