“Mother Nature is wonderful. She gives us 12 years to develop a love for our children before turning them into teenagers.”
Sarcastic One-Liners
The grass may be greener on the other side but at least you don’t have to mow it.
“You never realize how truly sarcastic you are until you have a mini-me who acts the same way.”
You have not been yourself lately. We have all noticed the improvement.
''There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage."
''I’m sorry while you were talking I was trying to figure out where the hell you got the idea I cared.”
“I sometimes think that God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.”
“Lead me not into temptation; I can find the way myself.”
“If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.”
“When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it.”