A woman wants the inside of her house painted and she calls a contractor in to help her. They wander around the house, and she points out the colors she wants. She says, "Now, in the living room, I'd like to have a neutral beige,...
Jokes
In search of a perfect Christmas tree, two blondes ventured with axes deep into the forest. After hours of braving sub-zero temperatures and biting wind, one blonde turned to the.
During the 50th wedding anniversary celebration, the husband was asked to give a brief account of the benefits achieved from being married for so long.He stood up, thought for a.
After a long illness, a woman died and arrived at the gates of Heaven. While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through the gates. She saw a beautiful banquet table. Sitting all around were her parents and all the other...
My mom has a lead foot, so I was not surprised when a state trooper pulled us over as we were driving through Georgia. Hoping to get off with a.
A little boy came home eating a big candy bar. Seeing the candy bar, his mother remembered he had already spent all his allowance money. She asked him where he.
A man goes skydiving for the first time. After listening to the instructor for what seems like hours, he is ready to go. Excited, he jumps out of the airplane. After a bit, he pulls the ripcord. Nothing happens. He tries again. Still nothing. He starts to...
A man told his doctor that he wasn't able to do all the things around the house that he used to do.When the examination was complete, he said, "Now, Doc,.
Three Jewish mothers are sitting on a bench talking about how much their sons love them. Sadie says, "You know the Chagall painting hanging in my living room? My son,.
At the conclusion of the sermon, the worshipers filed out of the sanctuary to greet the minister. As one shook the minister’s hand, he said, “Thanks for the message, Reverend. You know, I bet you’re smarter than Einstein.” Beaming with pride, the minister said, “Why,...