Return of a Sailor

The sailor came home from a secret two year mission only to find his wife with a newborn baby. Furious, he was determined to track down the father to extract revenge.
“Was it my friend Sam?” he demanded.
“No!” his weeping wife replied.
“Was it my friend Jim then?” he asked.
“NO!!!” she said even more upset.
“Well which one of my no-good friends did this then?” he asked.
“Oh, don’t you think I have any friends of my own?” she snapped.