Silly Signs
By - Automatic washing machines: Please remove all your clothes when the light goes out.
- Bargain basement upstairs.
- Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday please bring it back or further steps will be taken.
- Horse manure per pre-packed bag do-it-yourself.
- After tea break staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board.
- This is the gate of heaven. enter ye all by this door. (This door is kept locked because of the draft. Please use side door.)
- We exchange anything – bicycles, washing machines etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain?
- The town hall is closed until opening. It will remain closed after being opened. Open tomorrow.
- Out to lunch: if not back by five, out for dinner also.
- Slow cattle crossing. no overtaking for the next 100 yrs.
- Smarts is the most exclusive disco in town. Everyone welcome.
- Due to increasing problems with letter louts and vandals we must ask anyone with relatives buried in the graveyard to do their best to keep them in order.
- Anyone leaving their garments here for more than 30 days will be disposed of.
- Please do not smoke near our petrol pumps. Your life may not be worth much but our petrol is.
- Elephants please stay in your car.
- For anyone who has children and doesn’t know it, there is a day care on the first floor.
- The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges.
- If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons.
- We can repair anything. (Please knock hard on the door – the bell doesn’t work)
- Beware! I shoot every tenth trespasser and the ninth one has just left.
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