Marriage Humor

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  • How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry done free.
  • The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.
  • Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.
  • At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, “Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?” The other replied, “Yes, I am, I married the wrong man.”
  • Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.
  • A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?” And the father replied, “I don’t know son, I’m still paying.”
  • Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn’t know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in every country, son.
  • Then there was a man who said, “I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late.”
  • After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, “You know, I was a fool when I married you.” The husband replied, “Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn’t notice.”
  • A man inserted an ‘ad’ in the classifieds: “Wife wanted”. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: “You can have mine.”
  • When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. -Sacha Guitry
  • Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe. – Jackie Mason
  • Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
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