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Big Boots
This woman went through a bad break up. She grieved over her lost relationship, but eventually got better and decided it was time to have some fun again. She went into a bar in Waco and saw a cowboy with his feet propped up on a table. He had the biggest boots she’d ever seen.
Seeing the beautiful woman, the cowboy offered her a drink and they started talking. After a while, the woman built up some confidence and asked the cowboy if it’s true what they say about men with big feet are well endowed.
The cowboy grinned and said, “Shore is. Why don’t you come home with me and let me prove it to you?”
The woman wanted to find out for herself, so she spent the night with him.
The next morning she handed him a $100 bill.
Blushing, he said, “Well, thankee, ma’am. Ah’m real flattered. Ain’t nobody ever paid me fer mah services before.”
“Don’t be flattered. Take the money and buy yourself some boots that fit.”
Why play so hard………
Why play so hard to get when you are already so hard to want?
THANKS TO YOU……
THANKS TO YOU I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.
Deaf lady in trouble
One day a certain lady was driving on the Highway. She frequently checked her speed gauge to make sure she stayed within the speed limit. However, when she looked into her rear mirror, much to her dismay, she saw a police car not far behind! And, to make matters worse, the police car turned on his flashing lights. She thought to herself, “Uh-oh, what have I done now? I’m not speeding. I’m not drinking. I have my seat belt on! I have kept up my license dues and everything!”So, she pulled over and the police car pulled over to the side right behind her car. She drove her car slowly to a stop, slowly rolled down the window, and prepared for a ticket when she knew she didn’t deserve it. A policeman walked up to her window, and spoke to her. The lady pointed to her ear and shook her head, meaning she was deaf. The policeman smiled slightly, and knowing sign language, signed back, “I know. I’m here to tell you that your horn is stuck.”
You have not……
You have not been yourself lately. We have all noticed the improvement.
Two Fishermen
Two guys were fishing down by the Ohio River on different sides of the riverbank at night. Guy number one was catching a whole bunch of fish for his family, but guy number two hadn’t caught any and was frustrated and called out to guy number one “How come you’ve been catching all them there fish and I ain’t caught a single one?”
Guy number one replied, ” I don’t know…. why don’t ya come on over here?”
“I don’t know…. I don’t see a bridge, and their aint no boat, and I don’t swim to well”
Guy number one picks up his flashlight, turns it on, and replies, “Why don’t you walk across this here beam of light?”
Guy number two replies “You think I’m stupid? When I get half way you’ll turn it off!!!”