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I'm Coming!
A worker on a construction site of a high rise building climbed all the way to the top of the building before realizing that he needed a second pair of hands to accomplish the task he had in mind. Not wanting to climb all the way back down, and also realizing that no one would hear him if he yelled, he signaled to the foreman on the ground. He pointed first to himself, then his knee, and then the foreman, meaning “I need you.”The foreman waved back and then started acting very strangely….he unzipped his pants, pulled them down to his ankles, and proceeded to jerk off. Totally confused and rather alarmed, the worker ran down all fourteen stories of the high rise, staggered over to the foreman and gasped, “What the hell are you doing? “I got your message,” replied the foreman. “I just wanted to let you know that I was coming.”
Yo Bitch Boy if my dog
Yo Bitch Boy if my dog was that ugly I would shave his ass and makes him walks
backwards.
Upgrading from Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.
Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure.
In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3 and Beer-bash 2.5 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I cannot seem to purge Wife 1.0 from my system. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 1.0 but uninstall does not work on this program.
Can you help me?
*********
Dear Sir-
This is a very common problem men complain about but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a “UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT” program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run everything.
It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 1.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 2.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than original system. Look in your manual under Warnings – Alimony/Child Support.
I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation. Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Protection Faults (GPFs). You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur. The best course of action will be to push apologize button then reset button as soon as lockup occurs.
System will run smooth as long as you take the blame for all GPFs. Wife 1.0 is a great program but is very high maintenance.
Q: How many dull
Q: How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?A: One.
Why don't blondes eat Jell-O?
Q: Why don’t blondes eat Jell-O?
A: They can’t figure out how to get two cups of water into those little
packages.
To Stop The Polish Cavalry
Q: How do you stop a Polish army on horseback?
A: Turn off the carousel.