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Slammin 'em down!

A guy came into a bar one day and said to the barman, “Give me six double vodka.”

The barman says, “Wow! you must have had one hell of a day.”
“Yes, I’ve just found out my older brother is gay.”

The next day the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks.

When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back, “I’ve just found out that my younger brother is gay too!”

On the third day the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas.

The bartender said “Jesus! Doesn’t anybody in your family like women?”

“Yeah, my wife!”

Divine Golf

Moses and Jesus were in a threesome playing golf one day. Moses
pulled up to the tee and drove a long one. The ball landed in
the fairway, but rolled directly toward a water hazard. Quickly
Moses raised his club, the water parted and it rolled to the
other side, safe and sound.

Next, Jesus strolled up to the tee and hit a nice long one
directly toward the same water hazard. It landed right in the
center of the pond and kind of hovered over the water. Jesus
casually walked out on the pond and chipped the ball onto the
green.

The third guy got up and randomly whacked the ball. It headed
out over the fence and into oncoming traffic on a nearby street.
It bounced off a truck and hit a nearby tree. From there, it
bounced onto the roof of a shack close by and rolled down into
the gutter, down the drain spout, out onto the fairway and
straight toward the aforementioned pond. On the way to the pond,
the ball hit a stone and bounced out over the water onto a lily
pad, where it rested quietly. Suddenly a very large bullfrog
jumped up on a lily pad and snatched the ball into his mouth.
Just then, an eagle swooped down and grabbed the frog and flew
away. As they passed over the green, the frog squealed with
fright and dropped the ball, which bounced right into the cup
for a hole in one.

Moses turned to Jesus and said, “I hate playing with your Dad.”

Cuando Abraham va a la

Cuando Abraham va a la escuela, descubre que es el �nico ni�o jud�o en la clase; pero como era un pueblo decente nadie lo molestaba. Un d�a, la maestra pregunta a la clase:

“�Qui�n es la persona m�s admirada que jam�s haya vivido y por qu�?”

Para hacerlo m�s interesante sostiene un billete de 20 d�lares en la mano y promete:

“Quien d� la mejor respuesta obtendr� estos 20 d�lares”.

Todos los ni�os empezaron a decir lo que ellos pensaban.

“George Washington, porque es el padre de los Estados Unidos”, dijo uno.

“Eso est� muy bien”.

“Abraham Lincoln, porque liber� a los esclavos”, sugiere otro.

“Muy bien”.

“Juana de Arco, porque salv� a Francia”, asegura una ni�a.

“Otra excelente opci�n”, acepta la maestra.

Entonces Abrahamcito levant� la mano. La maestra le interroga:

“Abraham, �qui�n crees que fue la persona m�s admirada que jam�s haya vivido y por qu�?”

“Jesucristo”, responde Abraham.

Impresionada, la maestra responde:

“Abraham, estoy muy sorprendida. Clase, yo creo que todos estamos de acuerdo en que Abraham es quien debe obtener estos 20 d�lares”, y le da el dinero a Abraham.

En el recreo, la maestra sigue impresionada y le pregunta a Abraham que por qu� Jes�s.

“Mire, personalmente pienso que la persona m�s admirada que jam�s haya vivido es Mois�s, pero… business are business!”