A married couple was having a conversation. The husband asked his wife: "If i ever win the lottery what would you do?" The wife's respond was: "I would take half and leave you!" The husband said: "Well, your in luck - I won the lottery!...
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Employer to applicant: "In this job we need someone who is responsible." Applicant: "I'm the one you want. On my last job, every time anything went wrong, they said I.
Store Manager: I saw you arguing with that customer who just left. I told you before that the customer is always right. Do you understand me? Salesclerk: Yes, sir. The.
A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load of retirees when he is tapped on the shoulder by a little old lady. She offers him a handful of peanuts, which she gratefully munches up. After about 15 minutes, she taps him on the...
Teacher: Billy stop making ugly faces at other students Billy: Why?? Teacher: Well, when I was your age, I was told that if I kept making ugly faces, my face.
Two women sitting in the doctor's waiting room began discussing babies. "I want a baby more than anything else in the world." said one. "But I guess it's impossible." "I.
While a little boy was at school, his cat died. Worried about how he would take the news when he got home, his mother consoled him and said: "Don't worry , darling. Tiger is in Heaven with God now." The boy looked at her and...
There was an old professor who started every class with a vulgar joke. After one particularly nasty example, the women in the class decided to walk out the next time.
"It's too hot to wear clothes today," said the husband stepping out of the shower. "What do you reckon the neighbors will think if I mow the lawn like this?".
A policeman pulls over a driver for swerving in and out of lanes on the highway. He tells the guy to blow a breath into a breathalyzer. "I can't do that, officer." "Why not?" "Because I'm an asthmatic. I could get an asthma attack if...