The Top 15 Things We Miss the Most About High School

15> Driving a ’77 Toyota was cool in 1977. Today? Not so cool.14> The senior prom: Powder blue tux, white patent leather shoes and Mom’s Pontiac. If only I’d had a date.13> Failing the GED a third time was still almost a decade away.12> Scamming beer from that idiot clerk at the convenience store — the one where you now work selling beer to all those young-looking 25-year-olds.11> It was still technically possible you were really a genius just goofing off.10> The thrill of mixing various chemicals to see what sort of reaction resulted. Oh, and chemistry class, too.9> A simple handjob gave you bragging rights for a month.8> Working at McDonald’s, smoking weed and dating 16-year-olds didn’t make me the social pariah it does today.7> Back then, your peers actually envied your break-dancing ability.6> Two words: hourly boners5> Slow-dancing to Stairway to Heaven at the prom and when that fast part of the song came on, you didn’t know whether to keep slow-dancing or separate and dance fast or do something in-between so eventually you just said screw it and ran out to the parking lot to puke up some peach Schnapps.4> Sexual abstinence was still a choice — not a sad, pathetic, soul-destroying reality.3> Watching through the hole in the locker-room wall as gorgeous cheerleaders soaped up each other’s nubile young bodies in the shower. (movie high schools only)2> Ms. LeTourneau. Good God, how I miss Ms. LeTourneau.1> The sensual sheen of the lunch lady’s forehead as a single tantalizing droplet of glistening sweat escaped from her hairnet and danced temptingly down her nose. [ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ] [ Copyright 2004 by Chris White ]