A philosophy professor was at a party and became indignant when asked if it was true that all philosophy professors were absent-minded. "No, they're not absent-minded. Don't you think I know where I am right now, and don't you think tomorrow I'll know where I was last...
school
A little boy was excited about his first day at school. So excited in fact, that only a few minutes after class started, he realized that he desperately needed to.
Our teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said "Fried chicken." She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right because everyone else laughed. My parents.
A kid called up his mom from his college and asked her for some money, because he ran out of it. Mom said, ‘Sure, sweetie. I’ll send you some money. You also left your calculus book here when you visited 2 weeks ago. Do you...
A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. "Tim, you be first. What does your mother do all day?" Tim stood up and proudly.
The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and was giving an oral test. Speaking specifically about manic depression, she asked, "How would you diagnose a patient.
A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they drew. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's artwork. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."...
Two men sank into adjacent train seats after a long day in the city. One asked the other, "Your son go back to college yet?" "Two days ago." "Hmm. Mine's.
An angel appears at a college faculty meeting and tells the Dean that in return for his unselfish and exemplary behavior, the Lord will reward him with his choice of.
TEACHER: If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have? VINCENT: One dollar. TEACHER(sadly): You don't know your arithmetic. VINCENT(sadly): You don't know my father.