A poor man was poaching lobsters at the beach. A game warden, his first day on the job, saw him and said: "I'm going to have to arrest you. Poaching is illegal." "I'm not poaching lobsters." the man said. "These are my pets. I'm exercising...
animals
A guy spots a sign outside a house that reads “Talking Dog for Sale.” Intrigued, he walks in. “So what have you done with your life?” he asks the dog..
A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender laughs and says, 'Hey, we have a drink named after you!' The grasshopper looks at the bartender, with a look of extreme.
Two men are approaching each other on a sidewalk. Both are dragging their right foot as they walk. As they meet, one man looks at the other knowingly, points to his foot and says, "Vietnam, 1969." The other points his thumb behind him and says,...
There were two guys that went to hunt for a gorilla for the zoo. Since they had to catch it alive, they went prepared. They had a pair of handcuffs, a high power rifle.
An American touring Spain stopped at a local restaurant following a day of sightseeing. While sipping his sangria, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next.
Mrs. Peterson phoned the repairman because her dishwasher quit working. He couldn't accommodate her with an "after-hours" appointment and since she had to go to work, she told him, "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter,...
Auditioning for a job at a circus were a young man and a young woman. The woman said, “I’ll go first.” She walked past the chair, the whip, and the.
A salesman dropped in to see a business customer. Not a soul was in the office except a big dog emptying wastebaskets. The salesman stared at the animal, wondering if.
It was the end of the day when I parked my police car in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. "Is that a dog you got...