A monkey is sitting in a tree smoking a joint when a lizard walks past and looks up and says to the monkey "Hey! What are you doing?" The monkey says "Smoking a joint, come up and have some." So the lizard climbs up and...
animals
A poor man was poaching lobsters at the beach. A game warden, his first day on the job, saw him and said: "I'm going to have to arrest you. Poaching.
A guy spots a sign outside a house that reads “Talking Dog for Sale.” Intrigued, he walks in. “So what have you done with your life?” he asks the dog..
A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender laughs and says, 'Hey, we have a drink named after you!' The grasshopper looks at the bartender, with a look of extreme confusion on his face, and says, 'You have a drink called Steve?'
Two men are approaching each other on a sidewalk. Both are dragging their right foot as they walk. As they meet, one man looks at the other knowingly, points to.
There were two guys that went to hunt for a gorilla for the zoo. Since they had to catch it alive, they went prepared. They had a pair of handcuffs, a high power rifle.
An American touring Spain stopped at a local restaurant following a day of sightseeing. While sipping his sangria, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table. Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful. He asked the waiter,...
Mrs. Peterson phoned the repairman because her dishwasher quit working. He couldn't accommodate her with an "after-hours" appointment and since she had to go to work, she told him, "I'll.
Auditioning for a job at a circus were a young man and a young woman. The woman said, “I’ll go first.” She walked past the chair, the whip, and the.
A salesman dropped in to see a business customer. Not a soul was in the office except a big dog emptying wastebaskets. The salesman stared at the animal, wondering if his imagination could be playing tricks on him. The dog looked up and said, “Don’t...