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A parent’s job…
A parent’s job is basically a daily struggle to help a crazy person stay alive.
Rednecks Hunting
Two redneck hunters got a pilot to fly them into the far north for elk hunting. They were quite successful in their venture and bagged six big bulls. The pilot came back, as planned, to pick them up. They started loading their gear into the plane, including the six elk.
But the pilot objected, and he said, “The plane can take out only four of your elk. You will have to leave two behind.”
One of the hunters pushed forward and said, “Hey, last year our pilot let us take out six elk. It was the same model plane, the same weather conditions, and everything. What’s with this? We want you to allow us to fly out just like last year.”
Reluctantly, the pilot finally permitted them to put all six elk aboard, and the men all climbed in with their gear. But when they attempted to take off and fly out of the valley, the little plane could not make it. They crashed into the wilderness. Climbing out of the wreckage, one Redneck said to the other, “Do you know where we are?”
“I think so,” replied the other redneck.
“Yep! I think this is about 100 yards further along than where we crashed last year.”
Behind every…
Behind every successful man, you’ll find a woman who has nothing to wear.
Last 6 Months of Life
A middle-aged man was visibly shaken when his doctor advised that he had only six months to live because of the terminal disease that was detected during a recent physical check-up.
The doctor suggested that he should get his house in order, make sure his will was current, and ensure all final arrangements were in place for the funeral. He added that the man should then make plans to enjoy what might be left of his life to the fullest.
“What will you do for the last six months?” asked the doctor.
His patient thought for a few minutes, then replied, “I think I’ll go and live with my mother-in-law.”
Surprised by the answer, the doctor asked, “Of all people, why would you want to live with your mother-in-law?”
“Because it’ll be the longest six months of my life!”
The best part…
The best part about working in an office is that if you ever forget that you got a haircut, someone will definitely point it out to you.
Sibling Lessons
Charlie was playing with his little brother Mickey when the little boy asked whether he could fly like Superman.
“Sure you can, Mickey,” Charlie said, “Just flap your arms really *really* hard.”
So Mickey climbed up on the shelf, started flapping like mad, jumped, then smashed down on the floor making great noise.
Horrified by the noise and cries that ensued, their mother came screaming into the room and said, “What the heck happened?!?”
Charlie said, “I was just teaching Mickey not to believe everything someone tells him.”