Great Cake Recipe

You’ll need the following: a cup of butter, a cup of sugar, four large eggs, two cups of dried fruit, a teaspoon of baking soda, a teaspoon of salt, a cup of brown sugar, lemon juice, nuts, and a bottle of whisky.
Sample the whisky to check for quality. To be sure it is the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.
In a large bowl, combine butter with sugar. Turn on the electric mixer, beat sugar and butter until fluffy. Sample and add one teaspoon of sugar if needed, mix again.
Make sure the whisky is still okay. Cry another tup. Turn off the mixer. Break two eggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers pry it loose with a stapula.
Sample the whisky again to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Who cares? Check the whisky. Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or something. Whatever you can find.
Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. Don’t forget to beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out of the window, check the whisky again and go to bed.