Drug Testing

After a weekend full of drugs and alcohol, I turned up for work Monday morning and they where taking urine samples to test for drugs.
It’s a routine thing they do at my job, and normally a surprise, but luckily for me I found out on Friday and came prepared with a urine sample from my girlfriend. She’s a saint doesn’t touch stuff so I knew I would pass the test no questions asked.
I sneaked the urine sample in and gave it to the nurse.
The next day, my boss texted me: “Good news – you passed, totally clear of drugs. Bad news – you’re six weeks pregnant and you’re fired!”