Accept that some days you are the pigeon, and some days you are the statue.
Sarcastic One-Liners
As the joker said, if you are good at something why do it for free...
''I’m sorry while you were talking I was trying to figure out where the hell you got the idea I cared.”
Remember, everyone seems normal until you get to know them...
The best things in life are free *plus shipping and handling*
You have not been yourself lately. We have all noticed the improvement.
The grass may be greener on the other side but at least you don’t have to mow it.
Sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else look bad. And I’m tired of making other people feel good about themselves!
Never tell your problems to anyone...20% don’t care and the other 80% are glad you have them...
My internet is so slow, it’s just faster to drive to the Google headquarters and ask them shit in person.