“If you wrote down every single thought you ever had you would get an award for the shortest story ever.”
Sarcastic One-Liners
“Never follow anyone else’s path. Unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you see a path. Then by all means follow that path.”
"They say good things take time... That’s why I’m always late.”
"Being an adult is looking both ways before you cross the street and getting hit by an airplane."
"They say good things take time... That’s why I’m always late.”
"Why would someone who has an average life expectancy of 75 years, get married when he is 29?"
"Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."
"Sometimes the first step toward forgiveness is realizing the other person was born an idiot."
When life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.
“Sarcasm helps me overcome the harshness of the reality we live, eases the pain of scars and makes people smile.”