The thinnest book in the world must be titled "What Men Know About Women."
Sarcastic One-Liners
Give a man a gun and he will rob a bank. Give a man a bank and he will rob everyone.
People said I'd never get over my obsession with Phil Collins. But take a look at me now.
Writing a horror screenplay. It starts off with a ringing phone. The person answers, and it's their mum saying "I have a computer question."
I tried to get back to the drawing board but I can't draw.
Why do I keep paying the bills? It just encourages them to send more.
I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
When I have kids, I'm going to make them watch the movie "2012" and tell them I survived that.
I do try to be empathetic and put myself in other people's shoes... but I have big feet.
Women are fun to argue with, because even IF they lose, they win.