A bank robber walked over to one of his hostages and said: "Did you see my face?" "Yes," said the hostage. And then the robber shot him dead. Then he turned to the next man and asked: "Did you see my face?" "No," he said...
Sarcastic One-Liners
If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame
I think they picked me for my motivational skills. Everyone always says they have to work twice as hard when I’m around!
“If I had a dollar for every smart thing you say. I’ll be poor.”
“The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.”
I would explain it to you, but I’m all out of puppets and crayons.
Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
I always tell new hires, don’t think of me as your boss, think of me as your friend who can fire you.
“Sarcasm: helping the intelligent tolerate the obtuse for thousands of years.”
“If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.”