“The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.”
Sarcastic One-Liners
I would explain it to you, but I’m all out of puppets and crayons.
Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
I always tell new hires, don’t think of me as your boss, think of me as your friend who can fire you.
“Sarcasm: helping the intelligent tolerate the obtuse for thousands of years.”
“If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.”
“Sometimes I feel so sick at the state of the world I can’t even finish my second apple pie.”
“Have no fear of perfection—you’ll never reach it.”
“Sarcasm is the last refuge of the imaginatively bankrupt.”
"Sometimes I wish I were a nicer person, but then I laugh and continue my day."