I never admit or deny anything it makes things more interesting.
Sarcastic One-Liners
“Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.”
“I’m sorry while you were talking I was trying to figure out where the hell you got the idea I cared.”
“Sarcasm the ability to insult idiots without them realizing it.”
“When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark.”
I think they picked me for my motivational skills. Everyone always says they have to work twice as hard when I’m around!
“You never realize how truly sarcastic you are until you have a mini-me who acts the same way.”
“When one door closes, another opens. Or you can open the closed door. That’s how doors work.”
"You know the difference between a tornado and divorce in the South? Nothing! Someone’s losing a trailer, number one.”
Always remember that you are absolutely unique... Just like everyone else...