I never knew what happiness was until I got married—and then it was too late.
Author: juhy
“When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it.”
“I sometimes think that God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.”
“You never realize how truly sarcastic you are until you have a mini-me who acts the same way.”
“Have no fear of perfection—you’ll never reach it.”
I think they picked me for my motivational skills. Everyone always says they have to work twice as hard when I’m around!
Never trust atoms; they make up everything.
I heard there were a bunch of break-ins over at the car park. That is wrong on so many levels.
My internet is so slow, it’s just faster to drive to the Google headquarters and ask them shit in person.
I always tell new hires, don’t think of me as your boss, think of me as your friend who can fire you.