A magician is very happy because he has got a job on the Titanic. So he gets on the ship, and that night he does his act in front hundreds of people but doesn't get very far for his parrot keeps giving away the answers...
Author: juhy
“It’s wildly irritating to have invented something as revolutionary as sarcasm, only to have it abused by amateurs.”
A mother & daughter go out looking for Barbie Dolls, but can't find any prices in the shop, so they ask an assistant to help. "This is Single Barbie, she.
“If everything seems to be going well, you have overlooked something.”
A doctor says to his patient, I have bad news and worse news'. 'Oh dear, what's the bad news?' asks the patient. The doctor replies, 'You only have 24 hours.
"If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito."
"An optimist thinks that this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears that this is true."
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow .Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me alone!
"I always say 'Morning' Instead of 'good morning' Because if it was a good morning, I would still be in bed and not talking to people."
I think they picked me for my motivational skills. Everyone always says they have to work twice as hard when I’m around!