The best things in life are free *plus shipping and handling*
Author: juhy
You have not been yourself lately. We have all noticed the improvement.
THANKS TO YOU I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.
The grass may be greener on the other side but at least you don’t have to mow it.
Sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else look bad. And I’m tired of making other people feel good about themselves!
Never tell your problems to anyone...20% don’t care and the other 80% are glad you have them...
My internet is so slow, it’s just faster to drive to the Google headquarters and ask them shit in person.
I can totally keep secrets. It’s the people I tell them to that can’t.
Even people who are good for nothing can bring smile on your face, when pushed down the stairs...
"I was asked what I look for in a relationship. Apparently 'a way out' wasn't the right answer."