"Friendships must be built on a solid foundation of alcohol, sarcasm, inappropriateness, and shenanigans."
Author: juhy
"I would like to apologize to anyone I have not offended yet. Please be patient. I will get to you shortly."
“Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.”
“People say that laughter is the best medicine… your face must be curing the world.”
"Sometimes the amount of self-control it takes to not say what's on my mind is so immense, I need a nap afterward."
"Instead of 'have a nice day,' I think I'll start saying, 'have the day you deserve.' You know, let karma sort things out."
A businessman went into the office and found an inexperienced handyman painting the walls. The handyman was wearing two heavy parkas on a hot summer day. Thinking this was a little strange, the businessman asked the handyman why he was wearing the parkas on such...
“Sarcasm is the secret language that everyone uses when they want to say something mean to your face.”
A New York attorney representing a wealthy art collector called his client and said to him, “Saul, I have some good news and I have some bad news.” The art.
"Like good wine, marriage gets better with age – once you learn to keep a cork in it."