"I always say 'Morning' Instead of 'good morning' Because if it was a good morning, I would still be in bed and not talking to people."
Author: juhy
I think they picked me for my motivational skills. Everyone always says they have to work twice as hard when I’m around!
I never admit or deny anything it makes things more interesting.
Accept that some days you are the pigeon, and some days you are the statue
“It’s wildly irritating to have invented something as revolutionary as sarcasm, only to have it abused by amateurs.”
“My level of sarcasm has gotten to a point where I don’t even know if I am kidding anymore.”
Two doctors were in a hospital hallway one day complaining about Nurse Nancy. “She’s incredibly mixed up,” said one doctor. “She does everything absolutely backwards. Just last week, I told her to give a patient 2 milligrams of morphine every 10 hours, she gave him...
“Everyone has the right to be stupid, but you’re abusing the privilege.”
“It’s all fun and games until someone doesn’t pick up on the sarcasm.”
"Sometimes the amount of self-control it takes to not say what's on my mind is so immense, I need a nap afterward."