When his son asked for a lift in his car just to get to the end of their road, his father told him: "You should be ashamed. When Abraham Lincoln was your age, he used to walk ten miles every day to get to school."...
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One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife "Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in Slim Fast. Maybe it would take a few inches.
Heaven and hell are separated by a big chain-link fence. Well, one day hell was having a big party and it got a little out of hand. God heard the ruckus and.
A young woman had been taking golf lessons. She had just started playing her first round of golf when she suffered a bee sting. Her pain was so intense that she decided to return to the clubhouse for help and to complain. Her golf pro...
Betty and Tim die in a car accident on the eve of their wedding. In Heaven, they ask St. Peter if they can still be married. "Well, let me find.
An Amish lady is trotting down the road in her horse and buggy when she is pulled over by a cop. "Ma'am, I'm not going to ticket you, but I.
There's this old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish who kept confessing to adultery. One Sunday, at the pulpit, he said, "If I hear one more person confess to adultery, I'll quit!" Well, everyone liked him, so they came up...
GOD is talking to Adam in the Garden of Eden, about the creation of a woman. GOD: Adam how would you like to have a woman to live with you.
The husband had an annoying habit of searching through the refrigerator for a snack, usually while his wife was preparing a meal. Once, after he had gone through this routine.
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal, they lay down for the night and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. Holmes said: "Watson, look up and tell me what you see"....