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Dentist Visit
I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his DDS diploma on the wall, which bore his full name.
Suddenly, I remembered a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name had been in my high school class, some 30-odd years ago
Could he be the same guy that I had a secret crush on way back then? Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man was way too old to have been my classmate.
After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended Northmont high school.
“Yes. Yes, I did. I’m a thunderbolt,” he said gleaming with pride.
“When did you graduate?” I asked.
He answered, “in 1975. Why do you ask?”
“You were in my class!”, I exclaimed.
He looked at me closely, then, the ugly, old, bald, wrinkle-faced, fat, gray-haired, decrepit fool asked, “What did you teach?”
”Being an adult…..
“Being an adult is looking both ways before you cross the street and getting hit by an airplane.”
Used Car
A blonde wanted to sell her car, but couldn’t find any buyers.
She called her friend for advice, and her friend asked her how many miles she had on her car. “235,000 miles.” Her friend told her that was the problem. Then the blonde’s friend told her that her brother is a mechanic and could put back the miles to whatever she wanted. So the blonde went to the mechanic and told him to put the miles at 40,000.
Two days later the blond’s friend asked her if she sold the car since her brother dropped the miles.
The blonde told her, “Why would I sell the car? There are only 40,000 miles on it!”
”They say good….
“They say good things take time… That’s why I’m always late.”
”Why would someone….
“Why would someone who has an average life expectancy of 75 years, get married when he is 29?”
Dangerous Age
An 80-year-old millionaire becomes engaged to a beautiful 22-year-old model.
He goes to his doctor for a checkup a couple of weeks before the wedding date.
The doctor looks him over and says, “Bill, you seem completely healthy but I must tell you one thing.”
“What’s that?”, asks the millionaire.
“At your age, sex can be dangerous, and you need to watch it, take care, it could be really deadly” the doctor replies.
On the wedding night, Bill and his wife retire to their newlyweds suite and the young bride undresses down to a sexy lingerie. Bill admires his beautiful new wife and remembering what his doctor said, thinks to himself, “What the hell, if she dies, she dies.”