Words From Famous Women

Words From Famous Women …
“I’m not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I’m not dumb…and I also know that I’m not blonde.” – Dolly Parton
“I figure that if the children are alive when I get home, I’ve done my job.” – Roseanne
“My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can’t decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.” – Rita Rudner
“He tricked me into marrying him. He told me he was pregnant” – Carol
Leifer
“I’ve been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog.” – Wendy Liebman
“I’m not going to vacuum ’til Sears makes one you can ride on.” – Roseanne
“I found out why cats drink out of the toilet. My mother told me it’s because it’s cold in there. And I’m like: How did my mother know THAT?” – Wendy Liebman
“I think-therefore I’m single” – Lizz Winstead
“Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.” – Hedy Lamarr
“When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.” – Elayne Boosler
“I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn’t itch.” – Gilda Radner
“Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.”- Maryon Pearson
“Our struggle today is not to have a female Einstein get appointed as an assistant professor. It is for a woman schlemiel to get as quickly promoted as a male schlemiel.” – Bella Abzug
“In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman.” – Margaret Thatcher
“I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career.” – Gloria Steinem
“Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry.” – Gloria Steinem
“Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.” – Katharine Hepburn
“I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night.” – Marie Corelli
“If men can run the world, why can’t they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck?” – Linda Ellerbee
“I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.” – Zsa Zsa Gabor