Computer Terms
By 486 – The average IQ needed to understand a PC.
State-of-the-art – Any computer you can’t afford.
Obsolete – Any computer you own.
Microsecond – The time it takes for your state-of-the-art computer to become obsolete.
G3 – Apple’s new Macs that make you say ‘Gee, three times faster than the computer I bought for the same price a Microsecond ago.’
Syntax Error – Walking into a computer store and saying, ‘Hi, I want to buy a computer and money is no object.’
Hard Drive – The sales technique employed by computer salesmen, esp. after a Syntax Error.
GUI – What your computer becomes after spilling your coffee on it. (pronounced ‘gooey’)
Keyboard – The standard way to generate computer errors.
Mouse – An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to generate.
Floppy – The state of your wallet after purchasing a computer.
Portable Computer – A device invented to force businessmen to work at home, on vacation, and on business trips.
Disk Crash – A typical computer response to any critical deadline.
Power User – Anyone who can format a disk from DOS.
System Update – A quick method of trashing ALL of your software.