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Severe Turbulence
A plane hit a patch of severe turbulence, and the passengers were holding on tight as it rocked and reeled through the night.
A little old lady turned to a minister who was sitting behind her and said, “You’re a man of God. Can’t you do something about this?”
He replied, “Sorry, I can’t. I’m in sales, not management.”
Lonely Eve
Wandering dejectedly in the Garden of Eden, Eve told God, “I’m lonely. I’m tired of eating apples by myself.”
“Okay,” God said, “I’ll create a man for you.”
Eve said, “A man! What’s that?” “He’s a creature with aggressive tendencies and an enormous ego. He won’t listen very well; he’ll get lost easily, but he will never ask for directions. However, he is big and strong; he can open jars and hunt animals. And he’ll be fun in bed.”
“Sounds great!” said Eve.
“Oh, and one more thing,” God said. “He will want to believe that I made him first.”
If you press…
If you press the elevator button three times it goes into hurry mode – really…
If you believe…
If you believe that the quickest way to a man’s heart is the stomach, you know that you are aiming a little too high.
Greatest Golf Ball
Two friends were about to start playing golf when one said, “I have the greatest golf ball in the world. You can’t lose it.”
The other golfer replied, “How so?”
His friend went on, “If you hit it into the sand, it beeps. You hit it into the water, it floats. If you want to play golf at night it glows.”
“Hey, sounds good. Where did you get it?”
“I found it in the woods.”
Evangelizing Barber
There was a barber who paid close attention at the service whenever the topic of evangelization was discussed. He thought he should be doing more to share his faith with his customers.
One morning, during his prayer, the barber said, “Lord, today I’m going to witness to the first customer who walks through my door.”
A man came in as the barber opened his shop and said, “I need a shave.”
The barber said, “Yes, sir! Just have a seat, and I’ll be right with you.” Then he went in the back and prayed a quick prayer, saying, “Lord, the first customer just came in, and I’m going to witness to him. Give me the wisdom to know just the right thing to say. Amen.”
Then the barber came out with his straight razor in one hand and a Bible in the other and told his customer, “I have a question for you: Are you ready to meet your Maker?”