Home
Fox to a cow
How do you turn a “fox” into a “cow”?
Marry her!
Submitted by calamjo
Edited by Glaci
Top 10 Signs You're Burning Out Because of Work
10. You’re so tired you now answer the phone, “Hell.”
9. Your friends call to ask how you’ve been, and you immediately scream, “Get off my back, jerk!”
8. Your garbage can IS your “in” box.
7. You wake up to discover your bed is on fire, but go back to sleep because you just don’t care.
6. You have so much on your mind, you’ve forget often how to pee.
5. Visions of the upcoming weekend help you make it through …er…. Monday.
4. You sleep more at work than at home.
3. You leave for a party and instinctively take your ID badge.
2. Your Day Timer exploded a week ago.
1. You think about how relaxing it would be if you were in jail right now.
Q: How many Democratic
Q: How many Democratic presidential candidates from 1988 did it take to screw in a lightbulb ?A: (Gary Hart) This oblique reference to screwing is an obvious attempt to drag my personal life into this campaign. Frankly, I resent it, and the American people resent it.
Why do men snore?
Why do men snore when they lay on their backs?Because their balls cover their asshole, and they get air lock
So what's the speed of
So what’s the speed of dark? Why don’t they just make mouse-flavored cat food? I just got skylights put in my place. The people who live above me are furious. Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections? Do they have reserved parking for non-handicapped people at the Special Olympics?
Car Accident
A woman and a man are involved in a car accident but it’s a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt.
After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, “So you’re a man, that’s interesting. I’m a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There’s nothing left but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days.”
The man replied,” I agree with you completely This must be a sign from God!
The woman continued, “And look at this, here’s another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn’t break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune.” Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man shakes his head in agreement, opens it and takes a few very large swigs from the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man. The man asks, “Aren’t you having any?” The woman replies, “No. I think I’ll just wait for the police…”